"I'm not going back," Lucy whispered fiercely.

Mary looked perplexed. "Why would you go back? We've just come out to the garden for our walk."

"No, no. I'm not going back to the de Hugh's. Not after Easter, not EVER."

But Lucy, they are your foster family. Of course you're going back. Your not... your not to be married yet, are you?"

"No, it's nothing like THAT I can assure you. But I've already told Mama and she has agreed to convince Father. I'm NOT GOING BACK," Lucy ground out through gritted teeth. Lucy's determination was legendary in the Boynton household. Mary had no doubt that Lucy would have her way.

"But why?"

"It's Lord Ranulf. His is a terror. I'll not live in the same household with him."

"So he's back from Ireland, then? I suppose Lady Jane is pleased?"

"Oh no. If she was pleased to see him back, it didn't last an hour. Ranulf is a beast! He drinks constantly and yells at everything and everyone. He is satisfied with nothing."

"Well, Mary paused, "perhaps being away from home so long, things are not as he would like. Perhaps he is concerned about his estates. It is surely his right to put his possessions in order...."

"Oh, no Mary, even you can't somehow make Lord Ranulf into a nice person. I haven't said the half of it. No nice person beats his wife, even when he's in his cups. He's near killed the reeve, just for reporting the business of the manor. And he has a roaming eye. No, no one is safe in his house. I DO feel badly for Lady Jane, though. I don't want to abandon her - but I WON'T go back!"

"What will you do?"

"I don't know. I don't want to go to another foster family." Lucy's chin jutted out defiantly. "I am old enough - perhaps I will marry!" Lucy knew her father thought marriage should wait till 15 at least. Then a look of doubt passed over her face. "But what if my husband turns out to be another Ranulf? I couldn't stand that! But what can Lady Jane do? What could I do?"

"Oh Lucy, don't be silly. Father would never arrange a marriage to someone.... like that!"

"I don't think he was always this way. I don't know for sure - he left for Ireland nearly 4 years ago, when I was only 10. I certainly don't remember him always red in the face, about to strike someone. I don't think Lady Jane's father had any idea what Ranulf would become. What a horrible chance to take!"

"But most men aren't like that...." Mary protested.

"Aren't they? Of course, most men aren't as vile as Ranulf, but you said yourself he had a right to yell about his possessions. His manors, his serfs, his children, and his wife. I don't want to be the possession of any man!"

"Lucy! You wouldn't be married at all?!?" Mary was horrified.

"I didn't say I wouldn't be married.... I'm just thinking out loud." Lucy shook off her worried face, "Ah, Mary, sometimes you shouldn't take me so seriously! Tell me how you are. How are things at St. Clements, my holy sister? Will you ask Father's permission to take the vows? You are fully 15 years this spring. If you wait much longer, we'll think you a doubting Thomas!"

"Oh Lucy, don't tease. I...I don't know! I had planned to ask Father..... I know every one is expecting it of me but.... I'm not sure any more." Mary's voice trailed into nothing as she stared at the path before her feet.

"Goodness, I'm sorry Mary! You've always been so sure of your calling. What's happened?"

"I...."

Lucy lept into the pause. "Did something happen at St. Clements? Are the sister not treating you well? There are other convents you know."

"No, no! It's nothing at all like that. The sisters are dear to me. It's nothing bad about religious life, it's just...." Mary trailed off, blushing fiercely.

"Mary, tell me this instant or I shall have to tickle it out of you, right here in the garden! And think of the fuss that would cause, if we came in all muddy!"

"Well, do you remember last Easter? The de Stutevilles were here for the feast."

"Yes. So?"

The words came tumbling out of Mary like a dam bursting. "Don't you remember Sir Robert's squire, Alan de Rudestan? He was so friendly and very religious and respectful, and awfully handsome too and... and... I've just been wondering...."

"Mary! You're sweet on him! And why shouldn't you be? Just because everyone else thinks your going to be a nun doesn't mean to you have to!" Lucy was ready to defend Mary's change of heart as fiercely as she defended her own. Then a shadow of doubt passed over her face. "But Alan de Rudestan has nothing. His father has some small holding, but not enough to support more than one family and there are two sons ahead of Alan. Alan can't possibly marry."

"Oh, I know it, I suppose. But perhaps he will earn his fortune in service...."

"Perhaps! It was just that plan that makes Lord Ranulf so bitter. He thought he'd double his land holdings for his time in Ireland. Instead he got wounded and sent home with a few coins as thanks. Who knows how long it might be for Alan?"

"I know it isn't very sensible of me to think like this. I've always been so sure, you see. But now that it's finally time to give myself wholly to God, suddenly I have pictures of Alan before me and I find myself imagining our wedding, our home, our children.... I've never even considered that life before."

"Hah! What a mess we're in! Now I'm doubting marriage and you're doubting the religious life! Perhaps we will surprise everyone. I'll become Sister Lucy and you'll become Lady Mary!" The image of Lucy in a convent made Mary smile. Her outspoken younger sister seemed unlikely material for the religious life.

Suddenly it started to rain. "Race you inside!" yelled Lucy, gathering her skirts, and the girls dashed down the path to the house.

"Yes, I was dreaming," Mary whispered back.

"Are you all right? You're shaking."

"I dreamed that Alan stood before me. Behind him was the prettiest manor house, with apple trees in bloom in the orchard beyond and around his feet played four happy children. He was reaching out his hand to me and I wanted to take it. I wanted to go to him, but someone was calling my name. I was trying to ignore the voice, to concentrate on Alan, but finally I turned to look. Oh Lucy, I think it was an angel calling me, and when I looked back at Alan, he was all blurry and...and wrong somehow. Then I woke up. Mary shivered. "Ugh. I'd rather not dream. But I suppose I know what it means."

"That you ate too much supper last night? " Lucy whispered, all innocense. The response was a swift poke in Lucy's conveniently located side.

"This is serious. Don't you see. This must be God calling me."

"Well, perhaps this is God's way of reminding you that you have a choice."

"A choice? No, I don't have a choice. Not if God chooses me."

Lucy's whisper dripped with irony. "Behold the handmaiden of the Lord?"

"Yes. Behold the handmaiden of the Lord." Mary sounded confident for the first time this visit.

"Go back to sleep, handmaiden."

"Good night, sister."

"Of course you shall, you silly, you already ha...." Mary turned abruptly to look in Lucy's face. "What do you mean, Lucy?

"I mean I think I will join you at St. Clements."

"Until you are ready to marry?"

"No. I've decided to take the vows." There was a long pause as Mary gravely studied Lucy's face.

"Well, don't get too excited about our future life together!" Lucy huffed.

"But why? Why are you doing this?"

"Am I so lacking in religious feeling that you can't believe me to be sincere? I may be a sinner, but I can repent!" Lucy turned down the path, away from Mary's intense gaze.

"The religious life is not for everyone, sister. I don't doubt your belief but I do doubt you would be happy in a convent. Think of the long hours of prayer, the hours of quiet, the simple clothes, the plain food...."

You don't think I'm tough enough?!?" Lucy interrupted indignantly.

"No," Mary paused, eying her sister, "I think you'll do well at what ever you set your mind to. So the style of monastic life doesn't dissuade you?"

"Not for a moment," Lucy replied stoutly.

"Then think about obedience, my headstrong younger sister. You say you don't want to be any man's possession. Are you ready to become the possession of the Prioress?"

"What in the world do you mean?"

"Well, in truth it is not so very different. When you enter the convent you pledge to obey the Abbess or Prioress in all things, even if you believe her to be wrong, even if you believe her be to unfair."

"And how often have you felt Prioress Margaret was unfair in the 7 years you have lived in St. Clements?"

"Well, not very often, but that's beside the point. Heaven preserve her, Prioress Margaret is most wise. But she will not be Prioress for ever. The next Prioress may not be so wise. But you would be stuck with the change and no way out, just like Lady Jane is stuck with Lord Ranulf. AND there is the Rule. Do you really want to live with the confines of the Rule?"

"Yes. Yes, I do. Don't you see, it is the Rule which guarantees that no "bad apple" can make life in a convent too horrible. No matter who is Prioress, she will have to conform, more or less, to the Rule."

"Well," Mary paused, "I can see you've though about it, anyway. And if you are determined, I suppose there is no point in my trying to talk you out of it," Mary smiled reluctantly. "But I do hope I can talk you out of St. Clements."

"Mary, now you really hurt my feelings. Don't you want us to be together?"

"Of course I do. That's why I'd like to talk you in to taking your vows with me at Watton."

Now it was Lucy's turn to stare. "Watton? Why not St. Clements?"

"Father was talking to me about this on our travel home from York. Watton is much closer to home - only a half day's ride. Once we take the vows, you know, we won't be allowed to ride out just to visit our family. And while Father gets to York often, you know Mama prefers our manor here in Boynton. If we are in Watton, Mama could come visit.

And Watton is a Gilbertine double house. I like what I have heard about Gilbert's houses. It would be exciting to be part of a new approach to monastic life - an English approach to monastic life. Father thinks, being a double house, Watton will have more lands and be better managed than St. Clements."

"What, Father doesn't think women can manage their own affairs? Who does he think manages our estates while he is off doing the work of the church? Mama runs everything, and does it at least as well as he does!"

"True. But Father does know that people like giving to monasteries more than convents. He is always arranging gifts of land for the monks of St. Mary's or Fountains or others, for the good of the soul of the giver. Hardly any lords give land to the convents unless they have a daughter to dispose of. St. Clements has had hardly any new land in my 7 years there - it only gets land when someone takes vows and then not always enough to cover the cost of keeping the new nun. Watton is newer than St. Clements and Watton already has more land."

"I thought you wanted the simple life! This sounds suspiciously like you're concerned about getting your fine wine and warm clothes!"

"Not at all! But there is a difference between fasting during Lent for the good of my soul and fasting all the time because you have no choice. I prefer to do my fasting for religious reasons, not because there is no more food to be had!"

"How sensible of you, sister! And Father isn't bothered by the scandal?"

"You've heard about it too?"

"Of course! Who could NOT hear about a pregnant nun and her miraculous return to virginity, along with the disappearance of her baby?"

"You needn't repeat the story for my benefit!" Mary looked slightly green, but shook her head. "No, Father thinks the miracle is a sign of God's approval of Gilbert's plan. And he says Watton is run much more strictly now. It won't happen again - thanks be to God!"

Just The Facts:

Walter de Boynton, patriarch of the Boynton family, had two daughters who became nuns in the Watton Priory between 1168 and 1175. We know this because of land records:

Gift by Walter de Boynton to Watton priory of 4 bovates of land in Burnby,
the nuns having received his two daughters into their society as nuns.
[c. 1168-1175]

But that doesn't tell us very much - not even the names of Walter's daughters.

There really was a St. Clements Nunnery outside York, and Walter certainly got to York often in his role of steward of the abbey. There really was a scandal at Watton Priory about a pregnant nun, between 1160 and 1165. The de Stuteville and Rudestan families really lived in the area of Boynton village and had dealings with Walter. The de Hugh family is entirely fictional, though the expeditions to Ireland were real.

The rest of the story is my way of imagining how these facts might have been related.